Worth It!

I'm the first to admit that I'm addicted to the dangerous drug known on the street as, "IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION", dangerous side effects include: selfishness, laziness, impatience, with the most severe being the inability to step outside of my comfort zone. I want what's easy, fast, and can provide me the most happiness, the quickest. Part of the reason is because I have never "known" anything different. People resist change. I don't want to be the one kid biking to work when everyone is in cars, even if it saves money and the environment. If I stop buying designer clothes in order to help families in Peru, I worry I won't be as desirable in the eyes of society. I cringe at the thought of possibly having to work more hours to fund my shopping habit and paying for a flight to Peru. I desperately want to help but struggle to execute the discipline needed to get there. My generation has had the most conveniences thus far yet we will be forced to face some of the worlds greatest challenges. With privilege comes responsibility. I often find myself faced with opportunities where the conversation in my head includes a specific list. Each requirement on the list concerns the same person: ME! It's so easy to talk myself out of anything with four simple words. It's. not. worth. it.Instead of asking myself "what will happen to me if I help this person", I should be asking "what will happen to that person if I DON'T help them." People have often touted the phrase "you can't save the world" at me when in fact its not about saving the world, it's about each individual feeling empowered to do their part. As I go down my mental checklist of whether an activity is "worth" my time, I leave no room for the consideration of others and if so, it's often selfishly in hopes that the act will somehow benefit me. The Vargas family specifically has shown me an alternate way. I use up every second of my day and wait until the last minute to complete tasks, leaving my brain in panic mode where I further instill this myth that "I, MORGAN BAKER, DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING!!" I become short with family and friends, frustrated with co workers too easily, and overall have an irrational perspective on life. I'm yelling at the car in front of me because they waited 2 seconds before immediately accelerating forward on a green light. Is that extra 2 seconds really going to matter? I spend about ten times that amount of time being pissed off. Maybe I should have left my house 2 seconds earlier instead of checking the mirror for the fifth time that morning. It starts small. My time spent here has caused me to re evaluate my priorities and where I place my focus . They say money is one of the greatest stressors, yet my new friends have little money and no stress. It has reiterated my beliefs that my worth does not lie in worldly possessions. That being said, even amidst poverty, with hard work, perseverance, and THE HOPE THAT IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT contribute to lives full of joy!! I met a small boy named Noel playing futbol at Annie Soper school today, his dad drives a motor taxi (a low paying job) and pays his sons tuition on time EVERY month. He tackles the sacrifices that all single parents have to make coupled with all the hardships of living in an under developed area. I eat at biscuitville twice a week in the mornings totaling about $10 each week. (I somehow talk myself into needing a large sweet tea and bacon and egg biscuit to get through certain mornings.) If four other friends and I gave up our biscuitville habits we could pay for a child here in Moyobamba to attend The Annie Soper school (it costs about $700 per year to sponsor a student), opening their world to a myriad of WONDERFUL opportunities. This would require commitment, self control, and grocery shopping which are three of the things incompatible with those of us unwilling to give up instant gratification. Conveniences are a beautiful thing. But I believe its WORTH IT to be temporarily inconvenienced if it means it can make someone else's life permanently (or at least substantially) better. Poverty makes us uncomfortable! We divert our eyes when the ads come on the television asking for money for orphans. We close our ears as we hear the news channel spout out statistics about how many children go to bed hungry each night or die from preventable illnesses in underdeveloped countries. If you feel uncomfortable, CONGRATULATIONS! It's the first step towards compassion and empathy. I truly believe God wants us to feel that sense of helplessness so that we draw closer to Him. It's part of the ties that bind us together. I don't stop to buy a Sunday paper from the folks who stand on church street because I'm worried about possibly being stuck in conversation with said paper seller for a few potentially awkward moments at the red light. What will I say after I give her my dollar? Its so easy in those moments of fear to convince ourselves it's not worth it. If everyone "suffered" a few uncomfortable moments, and gave up their soft drink at Sunday lunch, she'd have the papers sold by mid morning! I conscientiously remain superficial about my trips to Peru when people ask because "I don't want to get into it." When in truth, my stories could inspire others to come along next time (thank you, blogger!) it's worth any eye rolls or uncomfortable silences in response. The stories of my Moyobamba brothers and sisters need to be heard. A PERSONS TIME IS JUST AS VALUABLE AS MONEY! If you have made it through this post, I commend you! I hope it was worth it.

THE DITCH, dun dun dun

Third time's a charm. This is my third tip to Peru. Why Peru? Why Moyobamba? I have often been asked why I choose to come to Moyobamba. Most people have heard the answers by now, loved ones have accepted the fact that a little piece of my heart was captured by the people here. My church has had a partnership with the people of Moyobamba and the local Presbyterian church here for YEARS. I remember hearing about it from Reid and Cathy when I was just in 8th grade. Four years later, I attempted to follow in their footsteps. I knew I wanted to come because of the way their eyes lit up (and teared up) when speaking about their experience. They didn't exaggerate. The love and immense gratitude they spoke about are things I have experienced each time I have been lucky enough to return to Moyobamba. I hesitate to call this a mission trip because I find the word "mission" often has a bad connotation associated with it. Its a PARTNERSHIP. Because the people here give me so much more than I'll ever give them. But I'm content to keep trying to repay them. I believe service is the rent we pay for living. Opportunities to serve are all around us. However, the opportunity to build cultural relationships is in Moyobamba. I cannot ignore the ability to be a bridge and focus on what all people have in common and relish in our differences. We are living in community while we are down here. Its this connection that draws me back each time. The language barrier fades away as we sing and dance to a song in Spanish for the children. They're laughing and we are laughing. I don't think they cared that I am completely tone deaf or that i am butchering each Spanish word as I attempt to dance simultaneously. I watch the faces of the little girls coloring their pictures as they glance up at Cathy for a nod of approval as she walks around. She smiles and they smile, feeling reassured that their picture is beautiful indeed. They crave this human interaction, just like children back at home. It's so easy to become jaded and to allow the overwhelming problems of world hunger and political injustices paralyze you. Instead, I have found personal refuge in the community of Moyobamba. I am honored to be able to stay in the Vargas family home on this trip and grateful for the constant reminder of family and the important things in life. I am continuously humbled by their faith and desire to reach out to areas even more remote than here, constantly looking for ways to serve. I'm just as grateful to be working with a team of adults who have been coming here for years and continue to learn new things each day. Each time I travel here, it is a wake up call. I worked in the ditch for about 30 minutes before I realized how easily my life could have been radically different. Instead of using a backhoe, we are using a pick ax and shovel to dig a ditch for a wall to be built. And as we work, the Peruvian church members around us are working and smiling. They worked through lunch. They are grateful to be working. In fact, They are just grateful period. Why Moyobamba? Why Burlington? I could have been born anywhere in the world. I am no more deserving than anyone else. We are all equal, there is no such thing as a lesser person. I grew up in a PRIVILEGED home (I'm not referring to monetary wealth). A home where i was taught two things. 1) My parents loved me and God loved me--2)and there was nothing I could ever do to change that. That being said, I grew up with modern conveniences that have made my life easy. However, the people I meet here are so happy yet they have so little. I believe I have much to learn about their sense of joy and resilient spirit. No matter what, we all face ditches. Literal ones like the one we are digging here in Peru, and figurative ones that represent our personal struggles. Now for a quick, semi-corny anecdote: There was once a man who fell in a giant ditch. It was dark and scary. A man passed by and offered him a rope to get out of the ditch, but the rope wasn't long enough. A second man passed by offering the trapped man a ladder, but it wasn't sturdy enough. Finally, a third man stopped and hopped right down into the ditch with him, saying "I've been in this ditch before and ill show you the way out" There's a lot to be said for solidarity and working WITH the people, sharing the temporary burdens of sore backs and heat from the Sun. But, We are in it together. And thats a comforting feeling! Ps: Charlotte says "ditch happens". :)

ALWAYS BE PREPARED.

Not just a boy scout motto. We made it to Moyobamba yesterday afternoon. Per usual, I had a beautiful plan of the way I thought things should go. Per usual, life happened, things didn't happen according to my plan, things were misplaced, schedules adjusted, comfort zones stretched, AND not finding time to blog! That's why I love Moyobamba. I am constantly learning to slow down and appreciate the happy moments that often accompany frustrating circumstances. At rhe airport, Victor embracing me with a hug, wearing the most genuine smile I've seen in ages, at the same moment I realize I left an envelope of cash in the seat pocket of the plane I had deboarded hours ago. My carelessness was disappointing but I could not let it be overshadowed by the amazing love Victor has for our group. Our group gathered for a time of devotion this evening as Bill shared with us the beauty of a crescendo. Most often associated with music as the build up before anticipated notes, the term crescendo can also apply to our daily lives and our spiritual journeys. My favorite thing about a crescendo is that it cannot occur without the build up, which more often than not, will include not-so-wonderful events. In the midst of serving others, in a country far from home, hearing a language that is not my own, I find myself still trying to maintain control. I've been so busy mentally documenting the minor unexpected events (such as melted chex mix and unfriendly airplane passengers) that I am forgetting to appreciate the beautiful crescendo that has been building all along. Some might say, no pain--no gain, I prefer "being mindful in moments of despair", or in my case, moments where my first world attitude of entitlement gets in the way of the bigger picture. The potential for a crescendo is just around the corner. Or might wait to hit you until you've traveled thousands of miles to a remote village. Either way, it's worth the wait. I am learning to value goodnight hugs and kisses from Abuelita just as much as I value digging the deepest hole at the work site. I'm learning the moments of sweating in the sun, my legs strattling a ditch with a pick-ax, in solidarity with our Peruvian brothers and sisters are the moments to be treasured. I hope to write more soon!! Buenas Noches!! PS: tried a beef heart tonight, wasn't life changing, but atleast I gained some street cred with my traveling companions! PPS: always be prepared, but be ready for your crescendo.

So excited, just can't hide it!

Hi!

To read what my group did on our trip to Moyobamba in 2010, and maybe get some background info, jump over to the blog I created http://fpcperu.blogspot.com/

I'm still trying to fit (cram) a few last minute things in my suitcase! Part of our group is meeting at 10:45 am, and will update more from the airport!

Adios!