Worth It!

I'm the first to admit that I'm addicted to the dangerous drug known on the street as, "IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION", dangerous side effects include: selfishness, laziness, impatience, with the most severe being the inability to step outside of my comfort zone. I want what's easy, fast, and can provide me the most happiness, the quickest. Part of the reason is because I have never "known" anything different. People resist change. I don't want to be the one kid biking to work when everyone is in cars, even if it saves money and the environment. If I stop buying designer clothes in order to help families in Peru, I worry I won't be as desirable in the eyes of society. I cringe at the thought of possibly having to work more hours to fund my shopping habit and paying for a flight to Peru. I desperately want to help but struggle to execute the discipline needed to get there. My generation has had the most conveniences thus far yet we will be forced to face some of the worlds greatest challenges. With privilege comes responsibility. I often find myself faced with opportunities where the conversation in my head includes a specific list. Each requirement on the list concerns the same person: ME! It's so easy to talk myself out of anything with four simple words. It's. not. worth. it.Instead of asking myself "what will happen to me if I help this person", I should be asking "what will happen to that person if I DON'T help them." People have often touted the phrase "you can't save the world" at me when in fact its not about saving the world, it's about each individual feeling empowered to do their part. As I go down my mental checklist of whether an activity is "worth" my time, I leave no room for the consideration of others and if so, it's often selfishly in hopes that the act will somehow benefit me. The Vargas family specifically has shown me an alternate way. I use up every second of my day and wait until the last minute to complete tasks, leaving my brain in panic mode where I further instill this myth that "I, MORGAN BAKER, DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING!!" I become short with family and friends, frustrated with co workers too easily, and overall have an irrational perspective on life. I'm yelling at the car in front of me because they waited 2 seconds before immediately accelerating forward on a green light. Is that extra 2 seconds really going to matter? I spend about ten times that amount of time being pissed off. Maybe I should have left my house 2 seconds earlier instead of checking the mirror for the fifth time that morning. It starts small. My time spent here has caused me to re evaluate my priorities and where I place my focus . They say money is one of the greatest stressors, yet my new friends have little money and no stress. It has reiterated my beliefs that my worth does not lie in worldly possessions. That being said, even amidst poverty, with hard work, perseverance, and THE HOPE THAT IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT contribute to lives full of joy!! I met a small boy named Noel playing futbol at Annie Soper school today, his dad drives a motor taxi (a low paying job) and pays his sons tuition on time EVERY month. He tackles the sacrifices that all single parents have to make coupled with all the hardships of living in an under developed area. I eat at biscuitville twice a week in the mornings totaling about $10 each week. (I somehow talk myself into needing a large sweet tea and bacon and egg biscuit to get through certain mornings.) If four other friends and I gave up our biscuitville habits we could pay for a child here in Moyobamba to attend The Annie Soper school (it costs about $700 per year to sponsor a student), opening their world to a myriad of WONDERFUL opportunities. This would require commitment, self control, and grocery shopping which are three of the things incompatible with those of us unwilling to give up instant gratification. Conveniences are a beautiful thing. But I believe its WORTH IT to be temporarily inconvenienced if it means it can make someone else's life permanently (or at least substantially) better. Poverty makes us uncomfortable! We divert our eyes when the ads come on the television asking for money for orphans. We close our ears as we hear the news channel spout out statistics about how many children go to bed hungry each night or die from preventable illnesses in underdeveloped countries. If you feel uncomfortable, CONGRATULATIONS! It's the first step towards compassion and empathy. I truly believe God wants us to feel that sense of helplessness so that we draw closer to Him. It's part of the ties that bind us together. I don't stop to buy a Sunday paper from the folks who stand on church street because I'm worried about possibly being stuck in conversation with said paper seller for a few potentially awkward moments at the red light. What will I say after I give her my dollar? Its so easy in those moments of fear to convince ourselves it's not worth it. If everyone "suffered" a few uncomfortable moments, and gave up their soft drink at Sunday lunch, she'd have the papers sold by mid morning! I conscientiously remain superficial about my trips to Peru when people ask because "I don't want to get into it." When in truth, my stories could inspire others to come along next time (thank you, blogger!) it's worth any eye rolls or uncomfortable silences in response. The stories of my Moyobamba brothers and sisters need to be heard. A PERSONS TIME IS JUST AS VALUABLE AS MONEY! If you have made it through this post, I commend you! I hope it was worth it.